local31news.com is an entertainment website composed mostly of articles containing satire. None of the articles on local31news.com should be considered true and are simply works of satire meant for entertainment purposes. You can contact us at: email@example.com
All articles on local31news.com have been certified as “Genuine Satire” by the Morality Police of the Internet (MOPOTI) and should not be mistaken as fake news.
After the Russians propagated fake news across the internet to hand the evil tyrant Donald Trump the US Presidency during the 2016 election, a group of some of the smartest people in the world came together to form the MOPOTI. The MOPOTI serves as the ultimate arbiter of what is satire and what is fake news. In essence, the MOPOTI reviews all satire claims and if all seven distinguished members of the austere organization chuckle at least once while reading the bit of claimed satire then it shall henceforth be considered satire. But if it fails the test then it shall be considered fake news and the consequence of that is worse than death.
If you did not chuckle at our verified satirical articles then please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org where we will offer you our condolences and provide you with a safe space where you can be shielded from any sort of satire in the future.
To be clear for those who lack any ability to recognize satire: The articles on local31news.com are not real. They’re meant to be humorous and they’re for your entertainment. It’s satire.